seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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