haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
