i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
