Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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