Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
