Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
