Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize