I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
