I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize