Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
is that a dick in a sweater?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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