Plan B is the new Plan A
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
