Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
