Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
