I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
