She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
