you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
