I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
