1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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