I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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