I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
