We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
