mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
