tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
