I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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