i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
