When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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