I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
