i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
