we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
