he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
