I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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