For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
