I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
