hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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