But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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