I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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