After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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