Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
