Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i think my cat just said my name.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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