erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
