you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
