If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
