i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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