im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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