Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
where are my eyebrows?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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