Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
