so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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