Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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