bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
