i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
