Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
