Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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