I smell stomach acid.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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