their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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