I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
