is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
