I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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