hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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