I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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