Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
