he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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