this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
