I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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